Understanding Dissociation: Its Purpose and Path to Healing

What is dissociation?

Dissociation is a state of disconnection. This disconnection can occur between thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, memories, or a sense of self and or identity.

Rather than being a single experience, dissociation ranges from subtle and familiar states, such as zoning out or emotionally numbing, to more pronounced experiences like feeling unreal, detached from the body, or as though life is happening at a distance.

Dissociation is best understood not as something that happens to you, but as something your nervous system does for you.

The Protective Purpose of Dissociation

When the nervous system perceives threat, it first attempts to protect us through action or connection. These include fight, flight, or fawn responses. If none of these strategies are available or effective, the system may shift into freeze/ dissociation.

Dissociation acts as a last-resort survival response. It reduces emotional intensity, dampens physical sensation, and narrows awareness. This can protect us from unbearable feelings, harsh realities, traumatic memories, or intense self-criticism.

In moments of inescapable stress, dissociation allows the system to endure what cannot be changed.

Dissociation and the Nervous System

From a physiological perspective, dissociation is primarily a parasympathetic response, mediated by the dorsal vagal branch of the vagus nerve.

When the brain determines that a situation is too overwhelming to face through mobilisation or appeasement, it shifts the body into a state of hypo-arousal.

In this state:

• Heart rate may slow

• Muscle tone decreases

• Breathing becomes shallow

• Emotional and sensory input is reduced

  
  

The brain also releases endogenous opioids and dissociative neurochemicals that blunt pain and emotional overwhelm. This is why dissociation often feels numbing, foggy, or unreal.

This response is not conscious or chosen. It happens automatically, beneath awareness.

Dissociation Exists on a Spectrum

Dissociation is not all or nothing. It exists on a continuum.

At the subtle end of the spectrum, dissociation may look like:

• Zoning out

• Avoiding difficult conversations

• Emotional numbing

• Distracting oneself excessively

• Feeling disconnected from values or needs

  
  

At the deeper end, dissociation may involve:

• Strong emotional detachment

• Brain fog or time distortion

• Feeling unreal or outside the body

• Shutdown or collapse

All of these experiences reflect the same underlying process: a nervous system attempting to reduce overwhelm.

When Dissociation Becomes a Pattern

Dissociation becomes problematic not because it exists, but because it becomes the default response to stress.

When dissociation is repeatedly activated, the nervous system learns that disconnection is safer than presence. Over time, this can interfere with:

• Emotional processing

• Decision-making

• Relationships

• Motivation and follow-through

• A coherent sense of self

People may find themselves acting in ways that do not align with their values, followed by guilt, shame, or confusion. These reactions often deepen dissociation, reinforcing the cycle.

Dissociation and Self-Esteem

Chronic dissociation can quietly erode self-esteem. When we are disconnected from our internal experience, we lose access to emotional feedback, intuition, and values.

This can lead to:

• Self-doubt

• Difficulty trusting decisions

• A sense of being "not really here"

• Harsh self-judgment for behaviours that occurred while dissociated

Understanding dissociation as a nervous system response, rather than a character flaw, is essential in restoring self-trust.

Why Insight Alone Does Not Resolve Dissociation

Because dissociation is mediated by subcortical brain regions, it cannot be resolved through logic, insight, or positive thinking alone.

When the nervous system is in shutdown, the brain is prioritising survival, not reflection.

Attempting to force clarity or motivation during dissociation often increases frustration and shame.

Healing requires a bottom-up approach, where safety and regulation in the body come before cognitive change.

Moving Through Dissociation with Curiosity and Compassion

Self-criticism reinforces dissociation. Curiosity softens it.

Approaching dissociation with compassion allows space to gently explore what the system is protecting against, without overwhelm. This shift from judgment to curiosity is a critical step in recovery.

Rather than asking, "What is wrong with me?" a more helpful question is, "What feels unsafe right now?"

Mindfulness-Based Approaches to Reconnection

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) supports reconnection by calming the nervous system and increasing awareness without force.

Helpful practices include:

• Body scan meditation, to gently reconnect with physical sensation

• Three-minute breathing space, to interrupt automatic dissociative patterns

• Loving-kindness practice, to counter self-criticism and restore internal safety

Mindfulness is not about pushing yourself to feel more. It is about allowing presence to return gradually, at a pace the nervous system can tolerate.

Therapeutic Support for Dissociation

Talking therapy provides a safe relational context for exploring dissociation, Additional approaches that are particularly supportive include:

• Sensorimotor psychotherapy, which works directly with the body and nervous system. This approach helps people gently reconnect with physical sensations, movement, and bodily cues in a safe and paced way

• Internal Family Systems (IFS), which helps understand dissociative parts as protectors

• Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), which addresses shame and self-criticism

• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which supports attachment and relational safety

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which reconnects individuals with values while allowing internal experience

These approaches work not by eliminating dissociation, but by reducing the need for it.

Gratitude for Dissociation

Dissociation is not the enemy. It is evidence of resilience.

At some point, dissociation helped you survive. Healing does not require fighting it, but listening to it.

When dissociation is met with understanding, compassion, and nervous system support, it gradually loosens its grip. Presence becomes safer. Choice becomes possible.

Dissociation is not a failure of strength. It is a sign that your system did exactly what it needed to do to protect you.

With safety, patience, and support, reconnection can unfold naturally.

wishing you wellness, Mel

Melissa Moss is a Registered Psychologist, Holistic Counsellor & Certified Clinical Trauma Practitioner in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and founder and principle psychologist of The Bodhi Tree Psychology- A Holistic Practice.

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